Veterans Day

In honor of Veterans Day, I thought it would be appropriate to tell a few stories about the folks that I work with over here.

Most people who know me, know exactly how to answer the question, “do you want the short explanation or the long one?” Unfortunately for some of the Marines that I work with, they don’t know how to answer it. Let me start at the beginning. Quite a few Marines that I work with are pursuing their college education while they are out here. As such, they have assignments that they are always working on and have to turn in for grading. One of the Marines here wants to major in Criminal Justice. Despite my best efforts, I could not dissuade her. There really isn’t much you can do with the degree and CSI won’t be calling you anytime soon for a position.

Regardless, she knows that I have a bachelor’s degree in Criminology and Psychology and asked for my assistance with her paper that she was writing. Two hours later I finished giving her my help. For those of you that have watched Glenn Beck on Fox News (I will pause momentarily for cringing….ok you can stop now), you will notice that he uses a chalk board in just about every show. Replace the chalk board with a white board and you had me. I was able to take a simple psychology question and illustrate how the military can be a bit socialist in nature.

I will trace a brief outline for you, nature vs. nurture turned into socialism vs. democracy which then in turn became practical application of economic theory. I have a unique ability to tie just about anything into a totally different topic. Anyway, I was able to successfully convince a group of Marines that the military is socialist in nature and could threaten the very fabric of American society. Yeah, they are a little too easily led. Don’t worry, I tried to undo the damage by pointing out how the military embraces freedom, social equality and a promotable hierarchy which can call be tied back into democracy and capitalism. By the end of my “lecture” there were 7 Marines listening to me and sadly there was an officer in the group as well. I shudder to think about what I could do if I started my own cult.

Since I have been here, I have encountered a number of rather interesting things that I haven’t seen before. For instance, on my first day at Leatherneck I walked into a room and literally saw a group of Marines measuring their muscles with a tape measure. I have witnessed Marines duck taping another Marine (think being tied down) and then giving him a few shots to the body just because it was his birthday and then to top it off, they shut him in a 20 foot metal container while still taped up. He got out about 5 minutes later.

I think what has topped the chain and blown my mind is the following story. Here at Leatherneck we use port-a-potties to do our business. Some of these facilities have a venting tube that comes out the back and rises up like a chimney would off of a house. This tube is about 10 inches in diameter and it goes directly from the “holding” area of the port-a-potties, straight up in the air. The holding area is filled with a blue liquid that is supposed to disinfect and keep the spread of disease to a minimum. The Marines has these same types of facilities in Iraq and they brought a little tradition with them to Leatherneck. Marines and the Army do not get along. It is basically like oil and vinegar. So they take every opportunity to screw the other over that they can. The Army typically has decent facilities with actual bathrooms so the port-a-potties are not exactly their cup of tea but they use them anyway. When a Marine is able to identify that an Army soldier is using the facilities and is going to be in there for a bit, they find a sizeable rock that can fit down the venting tube and throw it down as hard as they can. The rock will then cause a splash that can only be rivaled by the wave that results from the fat kid that does a cannonball into a pool. The solider will then come out of the john and be soaked with blue liquid and all of the other lovely things that are deposited into a port-a-potty. I laugh every time I see an Army guy that is all blue and pissed off.

These are our Veterans even if you don't want to claim them and on this Veterans Day we salute them.