Man Love Thursday

DISCLAIMER: This contains sexual references and may be offensive to some. It is not intended any way to stereotype any person, religion or race.

“Man Love Thursday.” I got to experience my second one this week. I was so shocked and interested that I thought I would share.

No, I am not referencing a bromance or a guy’s night out. I am referencing something that our TCNs engage in. Most of our TCNs come from the surrounding countries and most of the surrounding countries have a heavy Muslim population. Within the Islamic faith, Friday is a day of prayer. While I was aware of this prior to my deployment, I never really thought a lot about it. More on this in a moment.

On my first full day at Leatherneck was Tuesday and one of the first things that I heard was that I got here in enough time to experience “Man Love Thursday.” Given that I was running on about 6 hours of sleep in the previous 94 hours, I didn’t think twice about it after my initial chuckle. Then Thursday comes. Suddenly I begin to notice things around the base that just don’t seem right. TCN men are being a little more affectionate towards each other. Holding hands, a swat on the butt every now and then and just generally hanging on each other.

Fast forward to this week. I was talking with some of the Marines and they were explaining to me that it is not unusual on Thursday nights to walk into a TCN tent and find them engaged in sexual acts. Sexual acts with other men. This was discovered but not initially by walking in on them, rather because some of the men needed medical attention the next day. I didn’t know what to say. For the first time in a long time, I was speechless.

So I set out to find out if this was true or not. I work at the SMU (Supply Maintenance Unit) and on the SMU lot there are the MedLog people who are in charge of ordering medicines and medical supplies. As a result, they have pharmacists and nurses on rotation in the MedLog office just to make sure the correct items and dosages are being ordered. I was chatting with two of the nurses and I asked them. They confirmed what I had been told. According to the two nurses I spoke with, around 8 to 12 TCNs come in every Friday with some sort of tearing. Yes, in the place that you are thinking of right now.

The Marines joke that because of “Man Love Thursday” they need to have a full day of prayer on Friday.

I have gotten my first illness out of the way, or mostly out of the way. Some type of stomach issue has gotten hold of my system and is starting to let go. Thankfully yesterday wasn’t as hot as it could have been and spending most of the day in the hot box wasn’t as unbearable as I thought.

My new office is finished and we are moving in this week. The commanding officers moved in their new office yesterday and it will slowly trickle down to us peons. I also find out about my new housing this week. I went by and saw it yesterday and it is really nice. It is almost like an apartment that you would find in the states. This week is shaping up to be a very busy week but it should help boost morale around here quite a bit.

My iPod Touch was stolen this week. I narrowed it down to when I went to lunch on Wednesday and it either fell out of my pocket and someone picked it up or they just took it off my desk. I am not too sure which one but it doesn’t really matter. I haven’t decided if I am going to get a new iPod or just an MP3 player. The reason being is that when I get home, I am getting a new iPhone so an iPod could be overkill.

The Marines continue to take me under their wing everyday and now I am playing cards once a week with some of the Junior Marines. I find humor in the fact that everyone here (officers, senior enlisted and junior Marines) seem to think that because I am not a Marine that they can gab about anyone and everyone with me. I know more dirt on these Marines than I ever wanted to know. It does make it more interesting when I see them interact with each other and I get a nod or a look that signifies that I really know what is going on or that they expect some sort of sympathy from me.

I read in the paper that the fireworks display that I witnessed may have killed quite a few Afghani civilians. While I hope that is not true, it was unique to have viewed what they were referencing first hand (at least the launching part). All is safe here at Leatherneck, at least we are launching things and they don’t dare come to us. I kind of like it that way.

In The Rear

We all know that I never grew up from my adolescent self and I find things humorous that most mature adults wouldn’t. So when I got to Leatherneck I kept hearing the phrase “in the rear.” The phrase isn’t necessarily the juvenile part. The juvenile part comes when I start snickering when it is used like, “shit like that only happens in the rear” or “they really like when that happens in the rear.”

I mean seriously, how can I not at least crack a smile when phrases like that are uttered. In military speak, the phrase in the rear is used when a deployed unit or individual is referencing the United States. So when someone says “shit like that only happens in the rear” they really mean “that is a policy that is only applicable while you are in the United States.” I still chuckle like a teenager.

I gave my laundry to the TCN’s to do and I got it all back. Even in a timely manner. It was a good thing too because for some strange reason the military only issues four pairs of socks. I am not a math major but I am pretty sure that there are seven days in a week and I have to work all of them so I am not too sure how four pairs of socks and uniforms are supposed to last me all week. Oh wait, either do laundry a lot or wear them multiple times…yeah we all wear them multiple times before washing them.

I was driving around base the other night and I looked up in the sky at one point and I saw a lot of red dots moving across the sky. After a moment I realized that those red dots were dozens of rockets being fired from Leatherneck at some unknown location. This happened for 5 solid minutes and it not only made me smile (I know that is slightly sadistic) but it also looked like a fireworks show. That was definitely the most expensive fireworks show that I have ever seen.

Apparently I am making a good impression here because one of the Marines that I work with gave me a gift. This Marine gave me what is called a Gerber. This is a military issued knife that all Marines carry and you can imagine what the useful intent is. The individual that I work with (who is a Marine…remember there are no former or ex-Marines) said that a gift like that is a huge token and I have apparently done something right.

For some strange reason I decided to run 3 miles the other day and every bone in my body felt it but I thought it would have been awkward if I stopped and the 57 year old guy I was running with didn’t. What’s even worse is that I have repeated it each day since.

I should be moving into a real office either at the end of this week or the beginning of next. Real walls and a concrete floor, it is the little things that make a world of difference. Since the IT department has been working on getting my new office wired, getting my Wi-Fi set up has been at the bottom of their to-do list.

Note to self: there are two places that you should joke about bombs, airports and active warzones.

Made it to Leatherneck

I am at Camp Leatherneck and it is a very interesting place. After I left Kuwait I stopped in Kandahar for a day and then over to Camp Leatherneck. I got to fly on both a C-17 and a C-160 which was slightly terrifying. Both planes are cargo planes but they have makeshift seating for passengers. The problem is that you are literally shoulder to shoulder with everyone, wearing body armor and helmets and the seats shift two inches to the front and back depending on how the plane is moving.

Needless to say we didn’t have the amenities that a regular plane would have. The temperature in the plane changed depending on how high in the air we were and there was at least 15 to 25 feet of empty space above us (depending on the plane). We finally arrived at Camp Bastion (the British base right next to Leatherneck) at 1:00 am. After stopping at midnight chow, we finally made it to our tent.

On the way out of Kandahar I got to experience a rocket attack on the base and our overwhelming response to it. I am pretty confident we used more muscle than we needed to but I am sure the insurgents did not make it.

Leatherneck is not bad at all. Before I got here I heard a lot about how bad it would be but it has shown to be the exact opposite. I live in a tent, work in a tent, use porta potties and have to take a Navy shower (get wet, turn off water, soap up, turn on water and rinse, turn off and get out). It is unique that I have zero control on temperature or water pressure but that is all part of the experience.

The AC here is phenomenal. While I am in my office or in my tent I actually get cold. The Marines here are amazing. They are so accommodating and I have a ton of fun with them. I definitely hear more profanity than I ever have and for once I am not the primary cause of it. My mouth is actually pretty clean compared to some of the things that I have heard. Even though Marines get a bad reputation because they can do some pretty dumb things, the vast majority are extremely intelligent. I have had a boatload of intellectual conversations. Yeah, I was shocked too.

I have apparently impressed the Marines enough that they are getting me some of the Marine clothes that are part of their uniform. I won’t get their uniform but the little things like socks, undershirts, belts and things of that nature. According to the guy that I am working with from my agency, that is a very good sign. There is a lot of laughter during the day but we get things done.

I found out that it is inappropriate to address those in the enlisted ranks as sir or ma'am. Apparently that is reserve just for the officers so I have had to take a crash course in the Marine rank insignia. I am pretty darn proficient now.

The only bad thing about Leatherneck (and I have been told that this is true of all bases over here) there are a lot of third country nationals (TCNs). These are individuals who are not Afghani or American and they have come here to work. That is not the bad part. The bad part is what they do in porta potties. Basically is a custom for a lot of Muslims to do all of their business standing up….and their aim sucks. So you have to be very selective as to which one you use.

The days have been long but they have gone by quickly. I have seen a variety of things here that I never thought I would. I have a ton of pictures and as soon as my Wi-Fi is up I will upload them.

Maine, Shannon and Kuwait

I have finally made it to Kuwait and it is very hot. It is like taking a blow dryer and turning it on high while holding it 6 inches from you face...all the time. With that being said, it isn't that bad. When a country gets blown up they will tend to have new things like roads and buildings. I suppose I can thank Saddam for that.

I have been up for the better part of 60 hours and it looks like I will hit 72. Sleep has been very difficult at every stop but hopefully I will make it to my "bed" soon so that I can rest up. We made a couple of stops on the way over and the first was in Bangor, Maine. I have never been to Maine before and it was beautiful. When we got there we were met by a huge USO group and as we walked into the airport they clapped and shook all of our hands. I have never been that flattered in my life. They had free cell phones to use so that you could call home and they had all sorts of snack and books for us to take with us. It was nice to be treated so well and I believe that the USO will be getting a donation from me.

Our next stop was in Shannon, Ireland and it was also fantastic. I kept talking to the workers in the airport just so I could hear them talk. It took everything in me not to say, "Top of the morning to ya." And we wonder why people are not that fond of us :) The coolest thing that I saw in Shannon was at the main bar (which I did not order from....seriously, it killed me but I didn't). At this bar there was a machine that had a dozen different bottles of whiskey on tap so that the bartenders could easily dispense whiskey. I was in heaven and couldn't partake! I know where I will be going on vacation in the next few years.

Our last stop was in Kuwait and we flew across Europe and down through Saudi Arabia and briefly over the Persian Gulf (which is absolutely gorgeous). We flew into Kuwait City and then bused over to Ali Al Salem (A-le-a-sa-leem...that is the phonetic pronunciation). I got to experience my first convoy! It was exciting but I am hoping it will be my last convoy. We were taken from Kuwait City by bus and we had a convoy with us so that we were safe and secure. And we were. Kuwait hasn't been that bad besides the heat. It is definitely sandy and rocky but thankfully I am going to be departing here in the next couple of hours for an even worse place. It still boggles my mind that I step outside and I see troops taking off in a helicopter and they are hanging out so that they can jump down at a moments notice. This has been a very humbling experience thus far and very eye opening. I have a new appreciation for what our troops do and I haven't even gotten to Leatherneck yet.

I have a boatload of pictures. Some I was allowed to take and others I was not. I will post some on Facebook but if you want to see them all then you will have to come over when I get back. For the first time I can say that I can't do something because of national security reasons.

Military = Inefficient

Today proved what I already knew. The military is inefficient in administrative duties. This does not reflect on their primary mission which is to defend the US and interests of the US because the military does that extremely well.

On Tuesday we went through medical and I received a Hepatitis B vaccination. While I was there I insisted to every medical person that I needed to get my Smallpox and Antrhax vaccinations because I am going to Afghanistan. Despite my various pleas, they claimed I did not need these. Well lo and behold, I did. So today I went to get them. I would think that getting two shots and being the only one in the "Med Shed" that I would be in and out within half hour, 45 min tops. Yeah it took 3 hours. So that pretty much made my day go from being nice and easy to long and tedious.

With that being said, I was still able to get everything done, pack my bags and mail some of my stuff back home. I no longer have my cell phone. If you were to text me or leave a voicemail, I will not get it until I get back in January.

Tomorrow I leave for Afghanistan and I will have several stops along the way to drop off personal and cargo and pick stuff up. I have no idea when I will leave Columbus, Georgia but I will definitely provide an update once I get to Afghanistan or maybe even Kuwait depending on the Internet connection available.

I will update once I get to the other side of the world.

Luggage Duty

Yesterday I got all my military gear that I will be taking with me to Afghanistan and it is very heavy. I spent the better part of three hours in an unconditioned warehouse getting my stuff. I think I lost 10 lbs just due to the sweating. What a day to run out of deodorant. There was consensus among everyone that if we were doing this at an Air Force base that the warehouse would be conditioned. The Air Force typically spends there money on great facilities whereas the Army doesn't.

I was given three sea bags (military jargon for big duffel bag) full of stuff to take with me. Items in my bags include my uniforms, sleeping bag, body armor, helmet, boots, etc... Needless today they are very heavy. I have always thought of myself as being pretty strong but I was struggling with these bags. Each bag weighs about 70 lbs and they will be with me until I get back here in January 2011.

I volunteered for luggage duty which basically means that when the 400 of us go to leave for Kuwait, I will be one of 10 people loading the sea bags and ruck sacks onto the plane (military jargon for big book bag). My reward for doing this is that I will be sitting in the first class section of the plane during the flight over. I thought extra space that first class affords people would be worth the couple of hours that I will have to work with the bags. A bigger seat for a 20 + hour flight is a good thing in my book.

Today I had the good fortune to sit in training for 12 hours. At least this was air conditioned. We were trained on first aide for war zones. I am now well qualified to bandage any type of wound. The mannequins that they had us practicing on were very life like and they cost $25,000 per mannequin! The picture of the mannequin is on Facebook for any of those interested.

For lunch they were giving out MRE's again and I opted to support the fundraiser that was right next to it that was selling hot dogs and hamburgers. I have successfully avoided the lovely taste of MRE's thus far but that will end on Friday for my lovely flight. They are serving nothing but MRE's. Yummy.... I saw the oddest thing today during lunch...an ice cream truck. I thought it was a rather odd place for an ice cream truck but they definitely got a lot of business today.

The last part of my training today was on IED (improvised explosive devices). We actually got to handle real IED's that were disarmed. They are amazingly simple for how dangerous they are. CRC created a mock Afghanistan environment and we got to walk through it to see if we could spot the mock IED's that they created. Lets just say that if it was a real scenario rather than training, we would not have made it out. IED's are incredibly hard to spot if you are looking for them and impossible if you are not. I learned more from this training then I did during my entire graduate school experience. I suppose it is a little different when it could be a matter of life or death. For that reason, I will be staying exclusively at Camp Leatherneck for the next 6 months....unless I can get my hands on a helicopter :)

Tomorrow will be a rather slow day as it is a make up day for all the training, medical and paperwork that people have yet to complete. I will be mailing some of my clothes home tomorrow as well as my cell phone. So if you want to call me before I depart the country I would do so by tomorrow at 3:30 pm or 15:30 for all you military folks.

Flattering Experience

Last night I went out to TGI Fridays for dinner. Since I am by myself I just sat at the bar and the bartender (Allen) and I starting chatting. It eventually came out that I am leaving on Friday for Afghanistan. As I paid my bill and got up to leave he asked me to hang out for a moment. Allen then proceeded to yell very loudly to everyone in the restaurant that he had an announcement. Allen yelled to everyone that I was getting ready to go to Afghanistan for a year and he wanted to thank me for my service. Needless to say, I turned about 42 shades of red and thanked him for his kind words. Several people on the way out echoed his sentiments. TGI Fridays has a bell above the bar that they ring when something exciting happens and he rang it as I was leaving. I have never been more flattered in my life and it was a unique experience. Oh yeah and he comped me a drink so I really couldn't complain :)

Today was more of the same. Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. I think they could have crammed the first three days into one day but that is how it is at CRC. Or at least that is what I have been told.

Tomorrow we are going to be issued all of our gear and we are going to process through the medical portion. It is going to be a very long day. We were advised that because we are going to be away from our primary location that we are going to be given MRE's for both lunch and dinner. MRE's for people who don't know are pre-packaged meals that have enough sodium in them to kill a rhino.

I got a chance to meet a couple of guys from other agencies that are going to Camp Leatherneck as well. I will be working in the same office and sleeping in the same tent with these two guys. I haven't quite figured out how to read them yet but they are at least polite and quiet. They may be in for a rude awakening once I loosen up around them.

I am officially on the flight manifest for Friday's flight to Kuwait. The only thing at this point that would stop me from leaving the country is if there is something medically wrong with me like a broken hip. I looked up the temperature for Ali Asaleem (where we fly into) and the high is going to be 120 and the low 92. I bet I will be missing this lovely Georgia weather then.

Body Armor is Heavy

I will never understand how people can live in the South. By 8:00 am I had already sweat through my clothes and it only got worse from there. With that being said the mornings are very nice here. From 5:30 am to 7:30 am it felt amazing and there was a slight breeze. After that the sun wanted to fry everyone...and it did.

Today was my first day with a shaved head so I took off my hat for about 20 minutes so that it could get a little color but not burned. It feels okay for not but I will know for sure tomorrow morning :)

Every morning we report to a large pavilion and we line up in formation which is nifty except for the fact that over half of the people at CRC are not military people. Today's formation was better than yesterdays but some people are just not cut out for this type of work and it is becoming blatantly obvious. For example, yesterday the Master Sargent said no shorts or capri's. Beyond the fact that this rule was in all of the pre-arrival CRC material, people wore them anyway. Today someone wore them and found themselves on the end of a tongue lashing that was quite entertaining for the rest of us.

Today we were fitted for our uniforms and for body armor. Body armor weighs about 30 pounds so when the Sargent handed me the vest nonchalantly, I took it from him the same way. I almost looked like the weakling of the group because I didn't expect it to weigh that much. I suppose steel and Kevlar are not light in weight when they need to stop a bullet.

I had a brief moment of panic this afternoon when I couldn't find one of my training certificates. This training takes 6 hours to complete and if I couldn't produce my certificate then I was going to have to do it again. Thankfully I found it on the third pass through of my library of paperwork. Isn't being "green" a big initiative in government? I don't think the military got that memo...I mean e-mail.

Traveling to CRC

Since I am deploying to Afghanistan and I am want to provide as much information to all my family and friends in the most timely manner, I am going to be updating a blog throughout.

Yesterday I left home and I traveled to Columbus, Georgia for CRC (Conus Replacement Center....Conus means Continental United States). The trip got off to a horrific start. I was scheduled to leave Columbus, Ohio at 5:05 pm on July 9, 2010. The plane didn't actually leave Columbus until 1:45 am on July 10. That meant that I definitely missed my connecting flight from Atlanta, Georgia to Columbus, Georgia.

Once I landed in Atlanta I had to get a rental car and drive the 90+ miles to Columbus, Georgia. That wouldn't be so bad but I was running on fumes by that point. So fueled by beef jerky, a 5 hour energy and Coke Zero, I made the trek.

Since I had to rent an car in Atlanta, I had to drop it off in Columbus and pick up my real car rental. That sounds easy enough but the airport in Columbus is about the size of your local CVS and the car rental places didn't open for 2 hours after I got there. So I wedged my big frame into one of their tiny seats and sprawled out with my neck bent at a 90 degree angle and tried to sleep....yeah that didn't happen.

Finally I get my car and I head to CRC and I basically get lost on the base. Fort Benning is huge and by huge I mean it has its own freeways and exits on the base. Thankfully my beautiful bride was there to guide me to where I needed to be.

I am amazed that people live in the south because of the heat and humidity. By 9:00 am this morning I had sweat so much that I soaked my entire outfit. I cannot imagine how lovely we all must have smelled. Thankfully it was a short day and I was able to check into the hotel and get settled. Tomorrow I hope to take some pictures of base and the surrounding area and upload them.

Before I left for CRC I had decided to shave my head while I was gone because it is easier to deal with the sand with less hair and lets face it...I have been losing my hair for quite some time now. I think tonight will be the night it comes off. It was way too hot today for hair so I think it is time.

On that note, I think it is time to find the clippers and the camera.