In The Rear

We all know that I never grew up from my adolescent self and I find things humorous that most mature adults wouldn’t. So when I got to Leatherneck I kept hearing the phrase “in the rear.” The phrase isn’t necessarily the juvenile part. The juvenile part comes when I start snickering when it is used like, “shit like that only happens in the rear” or “they really like when that happens in the rear.”

I mean seriously, how can I not at least crack a smile when phrases like that are uttered. In military speak, the phrase in the rear is used when a deployed unit or individual is referencing the United States. So when someone says “shit like that only happens in the rear” they really mean “that is a policy that is only applicable while you are in the United States.” I still chuckle like a teenager.

I gave my laundry to the TCN’s to do and I got it all back. Even in a timely manner. It was a good thing too because for some strange reason the military only issues four pairs of socks. I am not a math major but I am pretty sure that there are seven days in a week and I have to work all of them so I am not too sure how four pairs of socks and uniforms are supposed to last me all week. Oh wait, either do laundry a lot or wear them multiple times…yeah we all wear them multiple times before washing them.

I was driving around base the other night and I looked up in the sky at one point and I saw a lot of red dots moving across the sky. After a moment I realized that those red dots were dozens of rockets being fired from Leatherneck at some unknown location. This happened for 5 solid minutes and it not only made me smile (I know that is slightly sadistic) but it also looked like a fireworks show. That was definitely the most expensive fireworks show that I have ever seen.

Apparently I am making a good impression here because one of the Marines that I work with gave me a gift. This Marine gave me what is called a Gerber. This is a military issued knife that all Marines carry and you can imagine what the useful intent is. The individual that I work with (who is a Marine…remember there are no former or ex-Marines) said that a gift like that is a huge token and I have apparently done something right.

For some strange reason I decided to run 3 miles the other day and every bone in my body felt it but I thought it would have been awkward if I stopped and the 57 year old guy I was running with didn’t. What’s even worse is that I have repeated it each day since.

I should be moving into a real office either at the end of this week or the beginning of next. Real walls and a concrete floor, it is the little things that make a world of difference. Since the IT department has been working on getting my new office wired, getting my Wi-Fi set up has been at the bottom of their to-do list.

Note to self: there are two places that you should joke about bombs, airports and active warzones.